Yesterday's training wasn't that all great. Coach was pissed and so was I though it's for different reasons. I just really hate the fact that people talk bad about me in chinese thinking I don't know chinese though they're friends with me for like nearly three years already and would even think that I'm always making excuses for being late. And I also hate the fact that I have to bear all the chinese conversations around me and get blamed for not listening to the intructions which were given out in chinese. And I hate the fact that I'm the only bloody malay in the bloody team. So there. I was pissed, happy. English language's there for a reason, not just some decoration test we have to take every year. Your English sucks, so what? At least I'm capable of understanding it, right? Fine whatever. Speak chinese for all I care. There's only like what, 7 more months of volleyball trainings I have to endure. No big. I've been through 2years of it already.

And yah, one more thing- I hate being falsely accuse of. I have a fucking temper, thank you very much for reminding me. But I don't get pissed for senseless reasons. I get pissed for a fucking reason and I don't go 'show my temper'-if that's what you call it, any-o-how okay missy. I'll shut my mouth up and think before I go blowing things up and I like to think of this period as me thinking calmly okay. Duhh, I'll be frowning and duhh again I won't speak to anyone 'cause duhh more the most logical reason that I'll scream at you and you'll hate me even more than you already do so duhh, my face will be 'black black' as you chinese people love to describe me in this way. Tell me straight in the face that anyone can be pissed without frowning. That she'll be smiling though she'll horribly pissed at something or someone. Fucking impossible right? So fuck there. My reasons for my 'black black' face during the earlier part of training.

And I'll really appreciate it if you guys get your facts right before going around to other people saying false things about me. Like the other day, I was in a state of panic that I couldn't complete my Art which determines my Ca2 marks. And it just so happened that AAA came to me and ask me about the jersey thing and I told her my opinion which was that I couldn't see the logic of buying new jerseys when we'll get one soon. All this was said kinda fast and I didn't bother to look up 'cause hey, my art!? And know what? After assembly, BBB told me that AAA said I was pissed at AAA about the jersey thing. See what I mean? Honestly guys. You can't blame me for getting frequently pissed if you guys are always misunderstanding me. Like come on man. I know you guys go like hey, why didn't you say this out? or something like that but pur-lease, everytime I say something, it's not heard so what's the bloody point? And I do tell you guys when I'm pissed and about what. But very so often I tell you guys, it'll be your turn to pull the 'black' face. And everyone be like it Nooraini's fault la. Face black black.

But then again. There are people in team that understands me and all- at least I think they do. And I really appreciate CCC for telling me about what they said. She said she wasn't at all sure it's me but said that I ought to know just in case it's me they're talking about. She even asked me if I was in a bad mood. I kinda appreciate that. I mean, she didn't join the merry-bitching clan and bitched about me. Instead, she came up to me and asked me about it. I kinda dismissed it at first but then I heard AAA complaining to DDD about me and it hit me- I'm that girl they're talking about. So I kept quiet, thinking why the heck they thought that way. I mean, if it's because I walked off before anyone else to the gym when AAA told us so then again, they misunderstood me. Other than that, I can't think of any reasons. So I shut it after that and know what happened after gym when I was at the water cooler? EEE said I finally smiled. Like wtf? I was already joking to Ac at the gym. What they mean by that? And FFF was like trying to make me smile with all her stupid antics. Like wtf. See what I mean? They don't get it.

I wanna quit but then, I don't wanna waste 2 and a half years of blood, sweat and tears just because of this. Maybe it'll all get better after the EOY. Or maybe I should have join Shah and quit.

paste your goodies , stuff or anything here :)