so i've been having migraines for the past entire week! how suay is that? fine, whatever.

1) i got pissed off at imran.
2) i got pissed off at a classmate(thee shall not be named).
3) my computer is still down & my dearest father probably wouldnt even bother to even fix it bcos he's bend on thinking that we were the ones who got it spoilt -_- which is only in his mind bcos hey? i was in school when all that happened plus the computer was perfectly fine before i left home zzz.
4) i'm broke.
5) i need a part time job!
6) i hate it when my boyfriend has a handphone bcos i don't trust with when he's with a handphone & would very much prefer it if he doesnt have one.
7) i want my handphone back! zzz it's been 3 days already tmd >.>
8) i quit gaming, yes for bloody real.
9) i shouldn't have entered RMT but BSG in TP and i'm currently regreting like a fuck lot right now.
10) Sociology bores me to tears & i feel like just dropping it (like as if that's even possible).
11) i'm still fucking pissed off with my boyfriend who thinks its absolutely fine if he doesn't pick up my calls for 40+ times and then consistently hangs up on me JUST BECAUSE i spoke my mind when he already made me promised never to keep my feelings bottled up.
12) i want my old life back when nothing was worrying me.
13) i'm guilty of wanting to end my r/s.
14) i'm also guilty of doubting my boyfriend alot, which he thinks is wrong but i have my damn reasons & i bet no girl would even be giving him a 2418754135813059th chance after all that has happened.
15) i hate being honest.
16) stop telling me imran loves me bcos i know damn right its so damn true.
17) stop telling me i should trust him and all that bullshit bcos it's not easy to do that ok, yes even with someone i love.
18) i hate my parents since i was young. no, i'm not lying. i even wrote this letter to my mother when i was younger telling her i'll pay her back every single cent she spent on me when i lived her, not including $300/- she gets from child support every month.
19) i've always prefered to be alone, then stupid imran came along in my life & that's when my whole entire so called "guide to life" got screwed.
20) like i've always been more of a "head" than a "heart" person before i met imran & he totally messed up my thinking & i ended up becoming more stupid + naive.
21) honestly, what draw me to imran when i first met him? his humour and that we both thought we wouldnt last for even 2months.
22) we did, & in 2months time it's our 2nd year together and we're going Thailand! so he says.. & Jack&Yu are coming too.
23) CC.BS was started bcos i wanted to live my life like before when i could buy whatever i want bcos i had money but i cant right now bcos i promised to help out financially, and stop telling me it's my choice whether i want to help out or not bcos i want to.
24) i miss bitching with yuhan.
25) i miss my freedom i had when i was single. back then, my parents would allow me to stay online til 2am, get home after midnight(providing i told them in advance) & give me pocket money everyday whether or not i was going out. now, when i'm attached, coming back at 8pm = late, computer MUST be shut down by 10pm no matter it was for schoolwork or for games or for my work & i cannot be bothered to ask for money from them anymore bcos it's always receipt? receipt? receipt? & if i dont have the receipt with me (which is usually the case bcos who the fuck keeps receipts?) they'll say i spend the money on something else. like helllooo? say for example, the monthly $52.50 i get from my father every month for my bus concession. it's not my damn problem poly students have to pay more than JC students right?-_- &, if i don't have the damn concession, it would means i have to top up $10 for every 3 days bcos mine's adult fare and that would mean $300 every month just for transport. SEEEEE. illogical. why would i want to spend that $52.50 and end up paying more in the future? plus, $52 can buy me nothing zzz. brainless.
26) i earned my own money aside from the $10 i get from my father IF i go to school, which he also sometimes doesnt give when i don't tell him i have school.
27) oh, my parents think i drastically changed after i've got a boyfriend -_- like helloo? i said this before, and i'll say it again, imran has got nothing to do with the way i behave or talk. even he gets tongue lashing from me if i'm pissed off.
28) i'm also damn early for school and i'm just currently rotting in school doing absolutely nothing but post this entry.
29) i've only got.. 2 orders since my computer crashed. thats damn sad.
30) enough random stuff. when i re-read my entire entry, i realised most would tell me, its better for me to break off, blahblah, i should learn how to trust blahblah. whatever.

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yes, i'm moody and i do not look forward to going to school bcos i anticipate that i will be treated like hafiz was treated on Tuesday just because he misses lectures. i hate those kind. people changed, & people have reasons for doing what they do.

just bcos i missed my RA lecture yesterday, which i doubt i'll even pay attention to and just keep going in and out to cheers during lecture, doesn't mean i'm irresponsible and ultimately just want to skip lectures for the sake of skipping lectures. yes, i'm sick but so what i don't want to go to the doctor's? i don't see the point of queueing up for hours at the stupid clinic just to pay $9.60 for consultation and some stupid painkillers i can easily get at the guardian store.

p/s: i don't like the tone of your voice when you speak to me. i way prefer ** so much more even though she/he's alot stricter than you are. no respect for me, don't expect much from me.

paste your goodies , stuff or anything here :)