if you read my entries since 2007/2008, you'd realised my family isn't very strong together. we fight, we screamed, we ignored - we were never the picture perfect family that every other person seemed to have. yet, somehow we'll always back each other up. somehow, no matter what, i'll choose my family in my next life too. they're a perfect bunch of crazy + love and i'd never trade them for anyone else.

in 2013, i'll be getting married to farley. the me few months ago would be thrilled to gain a new set of siblings and relatives. it means more gatherings, more celebrations, more happiness. i can share my happiness with more people and that's always fun right? but the me now wishes that i wasn't muslim so marriage wouldn't be necessary so i wouldn't have to face my other half's family. every time there's a family gathering, i'll start counting down to the time when i can finally go home. why? - cos it's always the same thing over. why is so and so like this? why like that? why $$ you pay not girl pay? it's either bitching about another family member or constant nagging at farley about me making him pay for everything (while i'm right next to him). i mean i understand farley wants me there cos he wants me to feel like a part of the family cos mine has already done so (he's always telling me that) but i constantly tell him, i doubt your relatives want me there anyway. it's pretty obvious his aunts disapproved of me especially after his dearest sister dropped the bomb about amelia. but hey, that's my story to tell not that bitch.

no offense lah, but it's not like any of them is forking out a single cent on our marriage right? why the sudden authority? is it wrong of us to just want everyone to just ENJOY the moment? instead of fussy on everything? it is not better that we take care of everything ourselves (with of cos, us asking you people advises as and when we need it) rather than you breathe down our necks telling us it's not worth it to splurge even for a little bit? i don't think both of us deserve just a nikah at home when we can both afford a slightly better one right? it's not like we're taking up loans or paying installments. we paid in FULL and i did source for the cheapest deal e.g. our venue is total plus! it's only 1k as compared to other venues like CCs. how is that not trying?!

now, i don't care if people take me the wrong way bcos of this entry - they always do anyway. in fact, i very much know that this entry will satisfied them so much, they'll go running to the eldest one pointing look what she did again.

i have a daughter, so fucking what. she is the love of my life, the most adorable little thing ever. my parents are divorced, so fucking what. they kicked me out, they slapped me, they screamed at me but yet, still love me all the same. my sister and i don't pray nor do we cover ourselves up, so fucking what. we aren't fake, we don't lead people on, we don't backstab each other much less bring each other down. are you farley? i told him my life story the FIRST day we met and he accepted me for me. are you the one who fell in love with me?

money - whoever in this world thought i was marrying farley for money is seriously in need of a brain transplant. what, farley so broke he depends on his resale money to get married? What about those months we were so broke that every day we'll only have only one meal - SHARED. if it was for money, i'd have left long time ago wouldn't i? We were so broke, farley went around asking relatives to help but only his twin did (i am grateful until now) we were so broke, we once had $0 in our bank accounts. but with our own sheer effort, we bounced back! HARD.

all this talk about me running away with his money is a joke. what money? i don't see branded bags or jewelry in my room for me. and the only trip we've been to are bangkok and batam and even that was for work. Y U PEOPLE NO HAVE CONFIDENCE IN HIM?! why you can't just be thankful that he's in a better place now? eh hello, without the help of any of you, farley is now a sales corporate manager working at his own pace. he is dealing with huge companies, getting 10k and over for our company at one go and you? now, i'm not looking down at anyone but for fuck sake, don't ever think for once that farley is poor or hopeless. i don't think 100k can give me much.

a house? belvia was solely my choice? if you can't afford it, don't go around saying we can't either. fyi i am drawing the exact same salary as farley so what's the deal about him paying all the shit in the future? with our combined cpf, we have to take out zero cent. except for duit api air lah. it's a house that we choose to live in for the next 50 years of our lives, why you no be happy that we'll have a roof over our heads?? alhamdullilah sikit ah untuk kita boleh kan?

like why can't you people just be happy and thankful that everything's finally falling in place for your own cousin/nephew/brother?! WHY ALL THE DAMN JEALOUSY AND HATRED? so difficult to smile and congratulate and be happy for him???

Like put it simply, kalau aku mata duitan, I'll go for rich old ang mohs who are about to die. But too bad for you, I'm not that kind of girl.

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