Today, Dalley called Farley and I felt really sorry for him. He was drunk, he was ranting on and on about his life and I felt for him. I wanted so much to be there for him even though I know I wouldn't say much to him. Afterall, we weren't even close anymore. I just wanted to render him support.. because I knew how it was like to be that way.
To call someone and pour your heart out every though you're surrounded by colleagues who wouldn't understand, who only knew to party. That lonely feeling I get because I just wanted someone to listen to me for once. Why did God play such a trick on me? I did good, i didn't hurt or kill anyone. I loved, i sacrificed so why me? I may be wrong but hearing Dalley talk like that on the phone brought back my memories of when I was down and out. Where no one was with me and all I could do was drink my sorrows away. Where all I could think of everyday was drinking and clubbing, trying my best to forget that i'm alone in this world. No one wanted to be my friend. No one wanted to listen to me cry. No one was there for me.
I felt lousy. I got mad at Farley because he didn't even want to check on Dalley. They're twins for crying out loud! I didn't realize how selfish Farley is because he rather sleep than make a wasted trip down to save Dalley because 'his friends might drive him back.' He wouldn't have called Farley if he had friends what! What if he's still there? What is he drink drives? What if he hurt someone or worse, hurt himself. Wasn't it obvious that he needed fucking emotional support? His voice was so shaky!
.... what is it was me...?
If I was in a similar situation.. he wouldn't be ass to check if I'm okay. He'll just assume I'll be okay the next day because it's not worth the effort to just see if I'm okay. It doesn't even bothers him if there might be the slightest chance that I might be hurt.
This past few days haven't been the best for me.
