I just got back from Haji Lane with Jeslin. It was I guess a good thing she asked me out for drinks since she was feeling down after her meltdown at home this morning. I so need to learn how to stop thinking about boys.

I can live WITHOUT them.
But why the fuck do they always hurt me?

Imran. It was fucked up enough that he beat me up til my body was aching for weeks. Torned lips, swollen eyes and bruises everywhere. I was reduced to being a punching bag for him, worse yet that he told me he loved me despite whacking me like that. Even worse, weeks later, he keeps repeating he loves me, that he's changed and I BELIEVED him and.. sigh.. I should be shot everytime I believe him. Wake up Nooraini. He doesn't love you. He NEEDS you to survive. He doesn't give shit about your feelings. He HASN'T and WILL NEVER change. Get all that in your fucking head Nooraini. But I can't help it... I guess. Deep, deep down, all those memories we've shared, it hurts to know that he still has the heart to lie to me. To make a fool out of me. To use me repeatedly for his own gain..

And as for Ed, it's a damn good thing that nothing happened.

I was always joking about how I'll turn lesbian but honestly, I think I would.

paste your goodies , stuff or anything here :)