Early in the AM, and I had a crazy fight with Farley. Like, almost every single time now. & it's NOTHING about girls (although I admit I still get suspicious of him from time to time). It's always about money, work or his family. The 3rd issue obviously, was a touchy topic and I rarely now even bother talking about it with him other than his normal family updates.

Money and work. It's not like we're short of cash now. We WERE doing really, really bad to the extend of asking his brother for help but now, when we're slowly but surely growing stronger again, he decides his friend can stay for free or "pay whatever amount he can afford" just because he hasn't start working yet. Does he ever think about my feelings? I am a girl. Even before he made me move in (when Abg Dalley and TJ was staying with us), I was skeptic for obvious reasons. 3 guys VS 1 girl in the house. I hid in the room 3/4 of the time cos I was uncomfortable, and even when I wanted to pee and they were in the kitchen, I'll hold it in for so long until I can't take it anymore. It took me almost forever to get along with Abg Dalley & TJ. I AM that bad with people.

Now, I have to put up with a STRANGER (his friend, but I barely know him) and I feel so much more uncomfortable with him around because Farley STILL insists on hanging ALL my stuff outside in the kitchen INCLUDING my lingerie. And "mysteriously" enough, my underwear is disappearing, coincidence maybe. I've pointed it out, hinted to him, but he doesn't get it. I've already said I'm uncomfortable, but all he says is that his friend is a good guy. Like whats that? I said I'm uncomfortable. I didn't say his friend is a bad person or trying to take advantage of him. (Although he did promised and said he has enough money for rental, but I dont know why he's not paying rental until he starts working now like wtf but still has enough money to buy new shoes.)

Ok, I know. I don't have any say. His house, his rules, whoever he likes can stay irregardless of my feelings. How he wanna place my things also not my problem. I don't care if he wants to rent the spare room, (extra income for us anw what) but at least respect me as a girl?

&& honestly, I don't know to regret encouraging him to switch jobs. Everyday it's work work and more work. Even during the weekends. Before when I used to bring back home work, he'll nag and nag and tell me I don't even wanna spend time with him anymore. Now? He brings back work, talks about it 24/7 and ignores me ALL the time.

I feel neglected but he thinks it's a waste of time talking about my feelings because it's always about me me and more me. Even when I wanna leave home with him in the mornings to go to work just so I can spend a little time with him since he's always tired after, he finds other means to make me angry. Like he doesn't appreciate me going to work with him even when I'm late. He doesn't get it if we leave home together, talk a little while we're otw, and part happily, he doesn't know that all this will already make my day even before 8am.

I'm tired. & I feel like there's no end to this if he's all about work and money. If that isn't bad enough, he has his relapses, occasionally snapping at me for no reason at all. I'm just so tired but even if he reads all this, all he goes is, "malas lah nak layan. I have better things to do." and that is what I'm sick of hearing.