I have a damn huge problem. Quite literally I mean - my weight.

Frankly speaking, I've gained at least 30 kilos in the past 1.5years and that is crazily unhealthy. I've become such a total slob, and truth to be told, have lost all confidence in myself.

I did told myself that I absolutely must go back to my original weight (I was at least 55kg back in late 2010) but I guess I felt a little too much comfortable in my own skin so I let myself grew.

Sigh and what's worse is that even if I do want to exercise and eat healthy and all that shit, my fiance tells me it's okay don't bother blah3 and I'll get discourage and end up eating like x1000 more that I should really eat. Not that I'm pushing the blame, I just don't have that much discipline.

& we go shopping and all, especially at Bugis Street, I just end up being really really unhappy with myself. All those clothes.. I can't even wear anything without being satisfied.

So this blog entry is it. I am TIRED of being fat. I wasn't fat before and back then I was already convinced that I was fat.. but now, I know FO'SURE that I'm fat. So I'm telling myself, everyday from tomorrow onwards, I'm going down to Bedok Reservoir and gasp fucking run.

My ideal weight is 55kg, like I was before. No flabby arms, thunder thighs and fat cheeks. I'll be dreamy and aim for a body to kill for. I am fucking 21 and I look older than that bitch. This is wrong. My wedding's is about 14 months more, and I'm aiming to lose at least 30 kg by then.

It'd be awesome if my fiance joins and encourages me but knowing him... he'd just think it's a joke and laugh it off. He never was in any way supportive of me in whatever I do anyways.

Sigh.....

Gonna go get my shoes later tonight and start running and eating right. I'd do a blog post daily just to make sure that I do really run.

Wish me luck!

paste your goodies , stuff or anything here :)