the world is fucked up. Singapore is fucked up. If it wasn't for the house, i doubt we would have been married. I mean i know i married bcos of love, but i'm pretty sure it's a different story all together for him.

like all my other blog entries, i am in a crazy crazy depress sort of place right now. to this day, i won't deny, that i have the slightest 'hope' that he'll one day snap out but i know it's pointless.. but i am still hoping.

he hasnt once ask me to stand strong. Hasnt once convinced me that he'll be there. Hasnt once asked if i'm doing okay. Hasnt once reassured me that our relationship will be okay. That we'll work on it but instead.. all i hear is the physical stuff. 'Our new home will be awesome' 'renovations will be fun' 'we can sit by the balcony and chill' it's all a fantasy in his mind and there's NO effort in reality to make those fantasies real. Not to mention his constant need to rant about money all the time. Yes sure we need money but what can I do if it's not even payday yet? Would money grow faster on trees if all you contact me for everyday is for money?

I'm tired. I'm done putting effort, having hopes. I'm tired of wishing he'll wake up and actually TRY to put in REAL effort to make those dreams come true. I'm tired and I just want to be happy.

And if YOU are reading this, feel free to misinterpret all this into your own words like you always do.

paste your goodies , stuff or anything here :)