spent over 3 hours crying and screaming on the phone. i guess i should have done that earlier bcos i must have felt better - dont remember falling asleep and I woke up 8ish which frankly is a first in the many weeks.

dont seem to be able to pick myself up lately. i *thought* i was okay last weekend but nope, not okay. so much hate bcos he seemed to be doing perfectly fine blaming everyone else about everything.

makes me wonder abit.. am i that stupid to be in this situation right now? such a stark contrast between us, him happy and me pathetic. it's a little like a fishing game he's playing with me, reeling me in with sweet nothings then the next thing pushing me so far away with lies and blames and whatnot.

i'm so tired to keep pretending to be happy. my colleagues are awesome but they don't know the shit that i'm going thru so they like asking me about my family and i've been so vague about everything cos it's just so hard.

next week i'll be at NUS store instead. not looking forward bcos the travelling distance is at least 2 hours from home and that means more time alone for me which i absolutely hate. and NUS store means much lesser sale for me, and i won't have my intercom there... Which sucks. tryna keep my spirits up but with all the shit that has been going on lately, it's going to be tough.

paste your goodies , stuff or anything here :)