Having a fucked up conversation w/ Farley right now about money. It's not like I ask for money all the time, it's not like I want Prada or Hermes or LV. It's not like I ask to dine in high end restaurants. I don't even spend over $50/month on my make up and I don't even complain about it. I get $10/day and if I spend over $8, I'll get question why. I'm expected to scrimp and save and for what?

I'm not married, my daughter is taken away, I can't even decide how I want to use my money and everything I do I have to ask for permission. Isn't that enough?!

I spent money like water way before we got together and yet between us two, I allow you to control the finances because you're just so insecured about it. The day you suggested combining "savings" I agreed readily because I never knew it meant giving up my make up, lenses and my prepaid. All I ever thought about was helping you financially but it seemed that my small insignificant amount was too little for you to even be appreciative of my sacrifices.

My make up is less than $50/month. Foundation, Blush, Powder, Concealer, Eye liner, Eye brow pencil, Lip Stick, Mascara. None of them cost over $30, I think the most expensive would be my Foundation, which is about $25 and lasts me at least 3 months. Actually, all of them last me for at least 3 months. So why is he complaining? I hate it when you talk about natural beauty. I didn't bat my eyelids when you wanted to go for your skin surgery bcos you were so insecured about yourself. In fact, I encouraged you.Yet, time and time again you shake your head in complete disappointment whenever I buy my make up. How do you think it makes me feel?!

 Constantly telling me that my monthly expenses for my make up is so expensive (probably under $50 a month and even that all my make up aren't even branded and I'm constantly looking out for cheaper alternatives) telling me that my dining choices are expensive and by that, I meant Pastamania which we'll normally spend under $50 even that is once a month or two, maybe longer. Telling me that you're doing whatever you can to make my life happy, by getting MioTV, internet and whatnot just because I said I wanted to. Hello?! I'm contributing too! Unless my $1k a month is really that insignificant to you. But I'm pretty sure my $1k can cover your MioTV and Inter and house bills AND MY MAKE UP. Did you hear me complain about my $1k? No.

I don't ask for money to go out shopping, I don't ask for money to buy anything that was never needed. All my clothes are at least $40 and under, with the exception of my shoes which you insisted on buying for me. My clothes can't even fill in a cupboard and yet you complained to me that I have so many. Whenever I want to get new clothes, your excuse is always the same, you have so many/we'll come back/next pay I promise. But it never happens.

You preached to me over and over again that I've been overspending and that I don't realize that Singapore is the 4th most expensive country in the world. You pinched everywhere you can. & yet you tell me that I don't "look far" financially because I'm too young.

If I'm too fucking young then go get another girl. I'm not asking you to spend all your pay in a week and suffer for the next 3 until your pay. I'm only asking you to shut up about saving money, about budgetting, about my make up, about whatever I need and not want.

I've been wanting to go for my dental for MONTHS since I've met you and you told me to endure it because it's too expensive and I did. But the moment your wisdom tooth started giving you pain, immediately you can throw $100/- away just for check up. Me?! I didn't even get to go for check up until you realise it was that painful.


So fuck everything. I am tired and pissed off about anything and everything.
You don't even TRY to understand me so why the fuck should I understand your crazy insecurities about money? Esp when we're not even spending money on anything. You can throw $300+ on washing machine, which I may add is YOURS not mine because THIS IS YOUR HOUSE, so technically we're spending for you, but do you hear me complaining?

Call me selfish, whatever. You time and time again fail to understand me. Even if you read this, I'm pretty sure you'll say something completely unrelated to what I'm trying to put across so fuck it.

paste your goodies , stuff or anything here :)