wedding counter on the wedding blog says i have 26 more days.. and i feel so miserable.

during the weekends, we had a bazaar. i was pretty much looking forward to it because we did so well for the 1st time. i woke up pretty chirpy, but of course things had to happen, and i had that nudging hunch that the weekends would suck.

first - dalley wasn't around in the morning. (am not going to blog anything about it but i was pretty disappointed)
second - farley took his own sweet time meeting me in the office and mama got pissed off cos she couldn't wait.
third - damn nets machine was down
fourth - i realized i forgot to print so many banners/flyers/signages
and the damn list just goes on..

eugene came a little while in the evening and.. he made me realized how alone i am in this.

i have no support. sure, farley & mama came to help me set up but both were throwing tantrums, both didn't bother trying to even feel the fucking pressure i had. both were just to busy hating each other. me? just someone they "love". i set up by myself, i had to sell by myself, and on top of everything, i'm expected to "feed everyone" because they "helped".

FOR FUCKING WHAT?

the black face they gave me all morning?

farley disappeared during the day as usual until mama left. dalley came and left for work. eugene stayed on and help me pack up on sat night. it sucked.

i woke up on sunday morning feeling a hell lot worse. i knew somehow that farley was going to find fault with me and throw a fucking tantrum to avoid "helping" (and i was right), my mother flared up at me for something that is BEYOND my fucking control and NO ONE HELPED.

and when i meant by nothing helped, I AM IN THIS SHIT EMOTIONALLY ALONE.

i chose the items, i had to do my damn surveys to check out which were the good ones. i ordered, and shipped. i unpack, create new labels, printed, cut and pasted them on. i did the website, the publicity, the advertising, the designing. i did the selling, the broastcasting, the manufacturing. i did everything.

no initiative..

no thank you..

no you deserve a good rest.

no nothing.

why am i trying so hard for something that wouldn't benefit me again?

paste your goodies , stuff or anything here :)